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This recording references alcohol use at an early age and a hospitalisation event from her harmful use. It may bring back traumatic memories for some listeners. Please seek help if you need it at any point.

Chapter 1

Exploring alcohol

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"Mum wasn’t a big drinker, but that was her way of dealing with it."
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Chapter 2

The thrill

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"The danger that I could have been in, and there was no-one to tell me different. I lived on my own; I had whoever I wanted around... I was just the life of the party."
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Chapter 3

Almost dying

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"He wasn’t angry, he just had tears running down his face. I’ll never forget that look."
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Chapter 4

Nurturing my spirit

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"I keep such a beautiful open connection with my tupuna, and I talk to them every day, and I invite them in to help guide me […] one of my biggest things, is remembering that I’m loved in the spirit world […] so don’t ever feel that loneliness, that real emptiness."
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Chapter 5

If I could talk to my younger self, I would say

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"I have accepted that life is always going to have challenges... for me. that comes with accepting I don’t need to run."
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