Hard times

There were hard times that I would sneak beer in the house without him knowing. I would wait till he takes his tablets and he goes to sleep. And then I’d be outside on the veranda drinking without him knowing. But then I’d forget to hide the box and then he found some cans in the fridge and he found my box and he’d say, “what the hell have you been up to” and I’d say “nothing”, nd the arguments start, And he asked me, “why do you do those things, mum?”

I said “I don't know. I just like it but I don't know why I do what I do”.

He goes, “you know you’re not helping yourself, you’re not helping me, you’re not helping yourself”.

But then those days passed me and my husband. And I felt for my husband. I felt for him. I said we have to do something. But we couldn't do it.

I had lost my license. At the moment I'm still disqualified, but with the support helpers up at the community health centre, they can help us with that. So that's a good thing for me to look forward to. And hopefully me and my husband can be on the same path.

As soon as I get the taste I feel like a beer, and then I say to myself, it’s all going to go out based on the drinking. It will all get flushed out and then I’ll have a hangover and I have to talk to myself a lot. I do a lot of self talking.